Disappointment in the form of a sister

I want to say that I have mentioned I was going to be taking my niece, Rylee, to the children’s museum here in Indianapolis. I had told my sister about it weeks ago (July 9th to be exact) and had asked her multiple times if I could take her. After her saying no many times, and after my Dad finally talking to her, she decided to let me take her, Wednesday night. The Museum was sponsored by Roche (where Dan works) and we had already picked up our tickets for the three of us. The outing was supposed to be yesterday, July 28th, so I thought I had given her ample time to let her know about it.

She sends me a text, Friday (the 27th), letting me know she “forgot” that Rylee had a birthday party for her cousin (Brian’s brothers kid) even though he had already had a birthday party earlier this year. Needless to say, it was at the time we were supposed to leave to go to the Museum, and needless to say, my sister texted me this morning at 927am, to let me know that I could not take Rylee and that she was sorry, but she was going to the birthday party.

I was devastated. I started crying and went and got Dan explaining to him what my sister had done. I couldn’t believe her, the betrayal and the disappointment that followed was heart-breaking.

Needless to say, I will stop talking to her until she understands that she severely hurt myself, and the possibility of Rylee having an awesome time with her Tia.

Who would’ve thought

Who would have thought that after everything I’ve been through in my life from the pain of being an outcast, trying to find a place in this word, or from trying and believing in the wrong person that I found love, that after all of that, I would find it in the least expected place?

I went and saw The Dark Knight Rises tonight and after spending some time with my best friend, Rachel, Dan, Molly, Christie and her sister, Ann, that I would be reflecting on how much I truly care and love Dan. Dan and I got home about 330 or so and we just went and laid down (which is where I’m at right now, lying next to him as he sleeps).

We have this look, that we give each other allowing us for a big glimpse inside of how we feel about each other that means more than ‘I love you’. We had been joking before dinner and the movies about getting married and how since there was a pool at my work when we’d get engaged that he would buy a ring and sit on it until I least expected it. And it made me realize that my fear of marriage, and unwavering commitment was unfounded and unjust.

I realized that Dan is the person I feel so deeply and strongly about that my chest aches at the emotions that I strain to hold back. I realize, that I want to marry him, that I want to spend my life growing old with him, enjoying life like I never could before.

He tells me from time to time, that I’m the love of his life. And looks at me, like his world revolves around me and he couldn’t imagine or want it any other way. I have been lucky. And sometimes I take us for granted. Arguments and snapping at each other here and there. But that’s to be expected in any relationship I guess. I mean we moved in with each other only about 7 months in.

I left him a note on the fridge where he would see it earlier this week, explaining how he is so intertwined in my life, my family, and my soul that I couldn’t imagine a time before this, before us without him. And that I am thankful for his support, his humor and his caring nature. It’s a wonder why I can’t sleep right now. Maybe in light of the batman massacre that I’m reflecting a bit. Realizing life is short and that I have everything I need in my life to be happy. And maybe thinking that I don’t know what I would do with Daniel. What I would do without my niece, and my friends and family.

I have no regrets anymore. Because every misstep, every bad decision has lead me to this very point in time, with my beautiful niece and the love of my life. My worlds.

Bitter Sweet End

August 9th is my official last day working for FedEx Office and then I start on August 13th with the new company. Looking forward to it, but dreading it as well. The biggest challenge is that its a new job, I basically work that one week then start classes the next week which is more nerve wrecking; especially since I am apparently not elegible for financial aid. *gasp* No surprise there.

It’s probably because they think I make too much (27,000/yr with overtime). It’s funny that after struggling to try to go to school for so long that I still cannot get help from the government. Nope, their motto is, “Pop out a hundred kids…you get 4 years of college free!!!!” Like some bad advertisement. It’ll be okay though, pretty much the difference in what I’ll be making at this new job will cover most of my schooling.

I am looking at getting a new TV too, since we just have this super cheap 27″ TV back from 2004. Which right now is better than nothing but I would like to eventually upgrade to a 46″ TV with maybe a HDMI input…just maybe. One can dream anyway.

Dan and I bought tickets to go see The Dark Knight Rises. Hopefully it is just as good as the second one. We are supposed to go see it with Molly and Christie from work and Rachel as well. We are absolutely crazy, going to the 11:50pm IMAX showing, but I think if we all sleep in, it’ll most definitely be worth it.

Not really much has changed. I finally saw Mary again, haven’t talked to her in almost a year and a half. Not since Jordan passed away, which was the last time she texted me. And that was last July. Have mixed feelings about that, not really something I would like to share online right now. Plus not to mention, I am TIRED! Woo. Really takes a lot out of you to do nothing all day.

Royally Fed Up

I have been for quite some time with my job. Mostly because of the manager and the direction of the company is headed. Basically it’s not someplace I would want to be for much longer. Like how our performance reviews are usually based on the job that you are performing and how well you are performing it. In a couple months…that will not be the case. It will be based on how much product of the month you sell to customers. What’s the point? What is going to happen is that they are going to hire a bunch of people who never learn their job or perform like they should be but still get credited and get raises because they are selling Product of the Month. It completely defeats the purpose of it and I plan on not sticking around to see it happen.

Plus, I have been planning on leaving for some time anyways, mainly because of the amount of stress that job gives me. Plus they are wanting us to do three people worth of work with only one person. Currently our store is down about 3-4 people. We are missing a production coordinator, a retail/self-serve person, a lead project coordinator (which is what I am) and a signs and graphics specialist. So today is the last day of my vacation (had the past week off) which had been planned since way earlier this year and I must say I am absolutely dreading going back to work tomorrow. I’ve heard horror stories since I’ve been off that it’s pretty bad in the store.

I applied to three jobs before I went on vacation (the weekend before) and received a call from one of the jobs and went in for an interview Tuesday (the first day of my vacation). I thought it went really well so well, that after I left I knew they would offer me the position. Of course, I was correct. I was offered a position with them yesterday and they said I should be receiving a package in the mail with information about the position regarding my background check, drug test etc.

The second company that I applied for was Verizon, which I just received an email today from them regarding about wanting to set up an interview for the position I applied for in Noblesville. Needless to say, as I like the benefits for Verizon (because they start on day one). My benefits with the company that offered me the position would start September 1st and I would start on August 13th. I am pretty excited, its better pay and a better schedule when what I am working now.

I have pretty much have done nothing all week on my vacation, and its been nice. Dan has noticed a huge change since I haven’t been stressed out to the extreme.


I discovered that song while browsing youtube yesterday searching for vocal trance. <3 I would definitely recommend listening to it.

It’s done…

The new theme is finally done! Woo-hoo! Hopefully everything is working alright so far. It has been tested in Safari and Chrome so it should hopefully work for everyone else. Sorry if you use Internet Explorer; I am not sure if it looks alright. Where to even begin about what has been going on.

In case you didn’t read the previous entries, the house is done and Dan and I have been in here since April. We’ve had our moments so far but I like to think everything is working out just fine. The house still needs a lot of work done to it to make it the way we want but we’ll get there.

Work has been extremely nuts lately, I’ve been stressing out quite a bit about it especially Signs and Graphics because it seems like only certain people do anything in there; but I’ve come to the point where it doesn’t even matter anymore. I clock in, do my work and leave when I’m supposed too.

4th of July is in a week which means in SIX days, my vacation starts. I am really excited because I am hoping to be able to accomplish quite a bit on the house and maybe do some yard work as well. I am supposed to be having a cookout too which should be fun. My niece had an accident with her Tia (me) and ended up fracturing her Tibia. =( I feel like a horrible Aunt even though I know it was an accident. She has a bright pink cast on that she’ll have for about 4-5 more weeks.

Past my class last semester with an A in Logic, Design and Programming. Now I have been trying to get with my advisor to see what classes I need to take in the fall. Hopefully I’ll be taking 3 classes like I hope.

I totally got my xbox 360 hooked back up and I’m excited. Been playing it when I can…or when Dan hasn’t taken it over. *glares*

My mom called out someone in heating and cooling because the big furniture here in the new house wasn’t kicking out anymore. Come to find out there was a mouse in the A/C unit which luckily only cost 100 dollars to get fixed. =D I also have been on birth control for some time (Azurette) and have been having horrible side effects just in general with it (and other kinds). I believe this is my 5th of 6th kind. I think I cannot do well with hormones so therefore I am going to my doctor on Thursday to discuss other options that do not contain any kind of hormones, such as IUDs, which ironically are covered 100% by my insurance company. Hopefully I’ll be able to get that because these hormones are driving both Dan and I crazy!

Guess that will be it for now. Getting kind of tired.

Have I mentioned…

That I suck? Because I do. I have been neglecting this site for awhile now and now it’s time to stop doing that! I will be working on a new design hopefully soon. And in case you were not aware; there will be no content featured on this site. This will be strictly a blog.

Not sure…

I do not want anyone to think that I haven’t been around; because I most certainly have. I’ve just been extremely busy. The new house is done and we are already remodeling it. We’ve been in here almost two months and still haven’t unpacked our stuff, mostly because we don’t have any furniture to unpack it too. Which is alright because we are working on it. Right now we are remodeling the purple room which was originally supposed to be our bedroom but made the upstairs loft our bedroom (it’s all open).

We bought paint and primer, and the necessities. The only thing we haven’t bought yet is trim (because it’s just so damn expensive).

On a different note, if anyone hasn’t been noticing the ‘We’ it would be that Dan and I moved into the house together. I absolutely love having him here. Not a day goes by that I’m not happy at the end of the night lying next to him wrapped up in his arms. Pretty awesome right?

My niece is getting so big too. She’s a beast!

Anyways, that’s just a little update into what’s going on. Hope everything is going well with everyone else!

People Need to Mind Their Own

What I hate more than anything is how people think they can offer some kind of input in my relationship with Dan. Which most definitely is not the case? What I want to hear is people being supportive of me; despite any misgivings they have, but when it comes from my own sister that just pisses me off.

Apparently my sister implied that I was a bad girlfriend because I had Dan cook one night and made him clean up (which he didn’t, I did). Also she bitched about the fact that we were always over there at her apartment.

Then several weeks before that incident, my Aunt had said something about how I always spent all my time with Dan and never did anything else. For those family members who may or may not have access to this blog:

First off, Dan and I rarely see each other apart from maybe 30-60 minutes a week. The only time I actually get to hang out with him, is when I’m over at my sisters and he comes over (once a week if that), or when he’s working at a specific site and I can go up and see him, but it’s never for long because he’s working.

Second, my sister is living RENT FREE in an apartment owned by my grandparents. Never mind the fact all that I’ve done for Dan that he’s even told me that him cooking dinner is the least he can do for me.

Everyone wants to be critical of my relationship; but in fact, instead of looking at mine and critiquing it, you should look at yours because there’s nothing wrong with mine.

It just aggravates me that people want to stick their noses in when it doesn’t concern them. I’m happy with Dan. Just because you aren’t in your relationship doesn’t mean you can try to ruin mine.

Get over yourself and grow up.